Ever wondered what someone means when they say they're AFAB or AMAB? We got you! Here's a little guide that you can use so you're inclusive, respectful and accurate when using language relating to gender.

Language is constantly changing - what terms you may want to use for yourself might be different to what someone else wants to use. What matters is respect and kindness. Everyone has the right to use language that works best for them and have that honoured by those around them.

So let's get started. And let's start with the big one that helps you understand the rest.

What is the gender binary?

The gender binary is an old idea that many of us have had drilled into us since birth. It takes time for some people to shake it - but once you do it's freeing.

Put most simply, The gender binary is the incorrect assumption that suggests everyone is male or female. We know that's not true for a number of reasons.

It's based on the outdated view that there are only two genders - men and women, and every human is either a man or boy or a woman or girl based on their genitalia alone.

We know this isn't true because trans people exist! Humans are born with different chromosomes and those and their genitalia don't always signal their gender. There are lots of genders - it's just that the most common genders are man and women. Gender and genitals are different.

Gender identity and gender expression are not tied to an assigned gender at birth or hormones or whether you can carry a child or any of the other things people decide make up gender.

The Gender binary is harmful, especially to already marginalised communities.

What does non-binary mean?

Non-binary is a term for all genders other than female/male or woman/man. Basically, if someone is Non-Binary or NB it means they sit on a spectrum of gender identities that are not exclusively masculine or feminine. NB or genderqueer is neither or all, outside of any binary. Here's a great resource on being respectful and inclusive of non-binary folks. Gender fluid and Bigender, Third Gender are also terms that sometimes sit under the NB umbrella. Two Spirit is a First Nations indigineous term, taahine is a Te Reo Maori term.

What does trans man mean?

A trans man is a man who was once assigned a different gender (usually female) at birth. Gender Minorities Aotearoa state in their glossary: "He may or may not be identified by others as trans, and may or may not identify himself as trans. It is grammatically and definitionally correct to include a space between trans and man."

What does trans woman mean?

A trans woman is a woman who was once assigned a different gender (usually male) at birth. Gender Minorities Aotearoa state in their glossary: "He may or may not be identified by others as trans, and may or may not identify himself as trans. It is grammatically and definitionally correct to include a space between trans and man."

What does AFAB mean? What does AMAB mean?

AFAB means Assigned Female at Birth. AMAB means Assigned Male at birth. Sometimes the acronym includes a C. CAFAB means coercively assigned female at birth, CAMAB - Coersively assigned male at birth. This reflects the way we assign gender to newborns based on genitalia. Sometimes people also use the term “designated sex at birth” (DSAB) or “sex coercively assigned at birth” (SCAB).

What does cisgender mean?

You might have heard the term cis-gender or cis. It's simply a prefix or adjective that means "not trans". It's a qualifier people use to say the gender they were assigned at birth matches their gender. Gender Minorities Aotearoa says it best in their glossary: "In discussions regarding trans issues, one would differentiate between women who are trans and women who aren’t by saying trans women and cis women. Cis is not an insult, but a neutral descriptor – much like heterosexual is to homosexual".

It's formed by the prefix "cis" which means on the same side or not "across" which differs from "trans" which means across or beyond.

What does Takataapui mean?

Takataapui is used both as a gender identity, as an attraction or sexual orientation and sexuality by Māori. It is also used as an umbrella term for all non-heterosexual and/or non-cisgender Māori people in a similar way to how some people use the term Rainbow community or Queer community. Gender Minorities Aotearoa expands on this term here. "A takataapui person may fit the definitions or behaviours of a lesbian, pansexual, transgender, gay, intersex, bisexual, asexual, or any other identity, but may or may not identify with western concepts or English words for these."

So that's the main points. We will expand on these in other pieces. If you have anything else you'd like us to cover or write about please email info@adulttoymegastore.co.nz